Developed by Marshall B. Rosenberg (Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion, 1999).
Structures a hard conversation in four parts, a plain observation, a feeling, the need beneath it, and a specific request, so it can be heard without defensiveness.
When to reach for it
When a conflict with a colleague, partner, or team keeps escalating because each side hears blame in what the other says.
How it runs
- State what happened, without evaluation.
- Name the feeling it produced, not a judgment in disguise.
- Name the need underneath the feeling.
- Make a specific, doable request that allows a no.
- Listen for the other person's feelings and needs.
Where it sits in SOLVE eX
- Any step: Tools that serve every step: habits of thought and checks on the thinking itself.
Go to the source
- Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Compassion, PuddleDancer Press, first edition, 1999