Crucial Conversations

Developed by Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, and Al Switzler (Crucial Conversations, 2002).

A method for conversations with high stakes, opposing views, and strong emotions: secure mutual purpose and respect, separate facts from stories, and speak tentatively while inviting challenge.

When to reach for it

High stakes and strong feelings surround a conversation with a boss, peer, or report, and the usual responses are silence or a fight.

How it runs

1. Recognize the signs: high stakes, opposing views, strong emotions.
2. Decide what you actually want for yourself, them, and the relationship.
3. Establish mutual purpose and respect.
4. Share facts first, then your interpretation, tentatively.
5. Ask for their facts and interpretation.
6. Close with decisions, owners, and dates.

Where it sits in SOLVE eX

• 6.3 Implementing the Action Plan
• 6.4 Conducting Follow-Up and Taking Feedback

Go to the source

• Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, McGraw-Hill, 2002