Developed by Chris Voss from FBI hostage negotiation (Never Split the Difference, 2016).
Lowers a counterpart's defenses by naming their emotions, mirroring their last words, and asking open how and what questions, then uses the opening to surface their interests.
When to reach for it
When a negotiation or difficult conversation has turned adversarial and rapport has to be built without giving ground.
How it runs
- Listen for the counterpart's emotional state.
- Label it aloud: it seems like you feel this.
- Mirror their last one to three words.
- Ask calibrated how and what questions.
- Invite an early no to lower the pressure.
- Probe interests only once rapport holds.
Where it sits in SOLVE eX
Go to the source
- Never Split the Difference, with Tahl Raz, 2016